Advice for women dating married men
I also read hundred articles about mistress and other woman. It was right before Christmas & I was feeling that it would be nice to have lunch paid for by a rep.
He got a ticket on the way to lunch (fyi) he told me that he was going through a divorce... He asked for a more legitimate email at that lunch & asked me out for another lunch a week later. He came on strong after that taking me to nice restaurants for lunches & dinners.
(c) Mark Goulston Blog Author, you take an almost too extreme stand against affairs.
It plays on a prospective sexual companion’s sympathies and eliminates any sense of competition. It also portrays the guy as a hapless victim — rather than a calculating perpetrator. Then we need to ask you why you are attracted to a guy who acts like he is a victim? So how do you imagine he will be transformed into an upright, responsible, solid and reliable guy down the road, when it’s your turn to play the “wife” role in his drama? Talk to the countless women who wanted to believe in that fairy tale, too. How do you feel when the next “other woman” enters, stage left?We say throw this one back into the sea, and go on about your life as if there is not really an important opportunity here for anything of lasting value here.If he ever does move beyond the victim role and becomes free and clear — and if you are still available — then perhaps give this a second look.I suspect you're calming personal fears, or perhaps appealing to a bruised demographic. It made my break up a piece of cake when I objectively read each point! He finally ended up marrying the last woman he cheated with. The problem is there is no Loyalty in the world left or almost none. I think it is laziness to keep an affair going whilst still married. While the commentor above, David Kaplan, does rightly point out that sometimes a cheater or cheaters wind up together long term or even married.
I am ashamed I was in this relationship and it will be a while until I am ready and healthy to be a suitable partner in a relationship. If however you check out the 109 comments ( on this blog when it appeared at another site I am associated with, you'll see how much an exception to the rule you fortunately are. I think that people who make commitments and don't keep them (and they try to justify them on PT) are delusional and selfish. I read somewhere that it takes the average "troubled" marriage just 5 years to work itself out. Peple want want instant gratification when they want and whenever they want it. Most people want to do life easy (no effort/instant gratification) rather than doing life right(effort/work/eventually long term gratification and success). But the reality is that in a high percentage of the cases these 'relationships' don't work out long term.
We found each other and have been in love for many many years. Your post is full of assumptions about what constitutes a "legitimate" relationship," that all women must be looking for future commitments from every man they date, that the married man must be lying to his wife, etc.